| Twas the night before Christmas and these are the facts Not a creature was stirring, except Santa with his ax The Wilson's were butchered with precision and care Found under the tree when Sgt. Nicholas got there The children were nestled all snug in their beds When in came Santa and buried his ax in their heads The misses in her kerchief, the man in his cap Lay on the floor, their heads in their lap Santa tripped on a lamp, it made quite a clatter The neighbors arose to see what's the matter One went to the phone, called the police in a flash The dispatch was made and they came in a dash Quick to his feet Santa looked outside He heard all the sirens and his eyes they went wide Clutching his ax he went downstairs to the floor Ran through the house and to the front door When what to Santa's eyes should appear But eight white squad cars all in high gear They came to a stop in front of the house Santa inside, trapped like a mouse Santa crouched by a window and pulled out a gun "You're surrounded" they said "There is nowhere to run" Santa shot twice, then the air filled with lead The night became silent, Santa was dead. 
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